My experience of Motherhood…as someone who is not a Mother

I am not a mother.
So why do I care so deeply about whether new mothers get the support they need?

Because over the last few years, I have had a front-row seat to modern motherhood- and what I saw was not just joy, but also exhaustion, anxiety, and a lack of real support.

Yes, I am not a mother. But I am a woman. A woman who has in the last few years seen countless close friends and sisters become mothers. And I have seen their journey up close:

The glee when they announce the pregnancy, but a stolen glance between us where I see their anxiety. I have held their weeks-old tiny babies. And I have seen them take a sigh of relief- because she rarely gets a break from mothering. 

Today, many new moms struggle with postpartum support, mental health, and finding a reliable support system…

Why New Moms Feel Unsupported: The PR Is Lopsided

These interactions reinforced my opinion, that while motherhood is indeed a miraculous and wonderful journey, its PR has been lopsided for way too many years. 

As a society we package it as this “beautiful journey” without talking about the skewed load in parenting between partners, or the usual lack of autonomy a woman has in her own birthing or postpartum process, and we definitely love to pinkwash the very real postpartum depression and anxiety as “just a phase”!

No wonder that new moms feel unsupported, and there is a lack of postpartum support in India!

Why We Built Birthgaon

In the last 8 years, while I was training myself post-MBA, to evaluate “opportunities” in TAM (Total Addressable Market), my co-founder Dr Neha Dwivedi had transitioned from mainstream medicine to practicing as a lactation consultant and childbirth educator. 

Ever since I entered the “reproductive age group”, and had these close interactions with so many mothers, I always had a question nagging at me: 

Despite the clear need for better postpartum support and meaningful mom communities, why is it that in a country with 2 lakh+ startups, hardly few are solving this problem at scale?

Which is when I realised that the problem was not the TAM (Oh in fact the TAM is quite lucrative, let me tell you!). The problem was that those building these businesses (majority being men) never really felt that this is an urgent problem statement that needs to be solved!

And the rest, as they say, is history. We took that leap of faith on our conviction as women: that the support ecosystem for new moms is broken, and that there is a dire need for a trusted and evidence-backed platform that can take care of their both emotional and physical needs. 

The Reality of Modern Motherhood in India

In a 2026 survey we conducted with 80+ mothers across India, UAE, and the USA, 63% reported experiencing little to no autonomy in their postpartum journey- from feeding choices to their own recovery.This highlights a deeper issue: new mothers are often surrounded by advice, but lack real support.

If you look at what new mothers are searching online, a clear pattern emerges:

• “How to handle newborn sleep deprivation”

• “Breastfeeding challenges and lactation support”

• “Postpartum mental health and anxiety”

• “How to find a support system after childbirth”

These are not edge cases. They are the everyday search queries of first-time moms looking for help.

While I can quote many more statistics from credible sources on the scale and impact of this disempowering journey, I prefer to leave you with some phrases you all must have heard in the quiet moments being said to a new mother:

“We were able to manage kids and household chores in our times, we don`t understand why you are overcomplicating it!”

“Pain is part of the motherhood journey, there is no need to make a big deal out of it”

“What you are going through (post partum blues) is just a phase”

What New Mothers Actually Need: A Trusted, Judgment-free Support System

I feel fortunate to have met Dr Neha at the right time. Her experience and skill set as a doctor who transitioned into birthwork, our combined passions for building for women, 

has helped us articulate Birthgaon`s mission very clearly: 

“Building the modern village for early motherhood:where expert care, community, and motherhood essentials come together”. 

We keep talking about the proverbial village/community here because it does take a village to raise a child, and the absence of an informed, well-meaning village does lead to isolation, low confidence and exhaustion. A “modern village” for new moms is not just a community- it is a support system for new mothers that combines:

• Expert care (lactation consultants, mental health support, and much more)

• Trusted guidance (evidence-based information)

• Community (other mothers going through the same journey)

Rewriting the Script of Motherhood…And Startups!

The beauty of building something in this “industry” is that your business partners go above and beyond billable hours, because they are also highly mission-oriented. And that your clients are not the typical ones who will ask for 50 iterations of a proposal. Rather they send cute progress updates in the form of their babies` pictures, and end up becoming a part of your family!

For generations, women have been told they are emotional, that they are making a “big deal”, that they should just silently endure pain. It`s 2026, and this script definitely needs to change!

If you are a new mom navigating this journey, know this—you are not alone, and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

That is the village we are trying to build at Birthgaon.